Polly Atkins examines the rise of quiet divorce in The Law Society Gazette
Polly’s article was published in The Law Society Gazette, Issue 17th April, (page 30), and can be seen here.
Polly Atkins, Senior Associate in our Family & Relationships department, examines the growing trend of “quiet divorce”, exploring why some couples choose emotional disengagement over formal separation and the significant legal, financial and emotional risks this approach can create.
Quiet divorce has no single definition, but generally describes couples who remain married and continue shared living arrangements while emotionally withdrawing and leading largely parallel lives. Media commentary often portrays this as a calm and efficient alternative to divorce, appealing to those seeking stability, privacy and minimal disruption.
Polly outlines why quiet divorce may appear attractive. Perceived benefits include maintaining tax efficiency and financial stability, particularly where dynastic wealth or family businesses are involved, as well as avoiding the conflict and emotional strain associated with formal separation. Some couples believe this arrangement protects children by preserving a familiar household structure, while others value the anonymity it offers, especially in high‑profile cases. Quiet divorce is often sold as a pragmatic middle ground that bypasses the legal system while retaining day‑to‑day normality.
However, Polly highlights that the apparent simplicity of quiet divorce can conceal serious complications. Without a clear point of separation, disputes may arise later over how assets should be divided, particularly where wealth continues to be accumulated while lives and finances remain intertwined. This ambiguity can also affect inheritance planning, as spouses retain stronger rights to challenge wills than former spouses. Emotionally, couples may hold different assumptions about their relationship status, while children may be unsettled by unspoken changes within the family dynamic.
The article concludes that clarity and structure are ultimately kinder and more sustainable than quiet withdrawal. Polly advocates constructive alternatives such as mediation, collaborative practice, arbitration, separation agreements and “one couple, one lawyer” models, all of which allow couples to redefine or end their relationship transparently and fairly while minimising conflict. While quiet divorce is often presented as harmonious, clear communication and well‑planned legal frameworks are more likely to reduce future disputes and provide security for the whole family.
Read more on The Law Society Gazette website, [external link].